the detour

We just passed our ONE year anniversary of living abroad in Venice, Italy. We can officially check “live in Europe for a period of time” ✔️ off the bucket list.

I mean…. What. A. Year!

Imagine, weekends walking along the movie-like canals of Venice, drinking an aperitivo because its 6pm and thats just what Italians do. Indulging in homemade pastas and breads and feeling just fine about it. Slipping away to drink Prosecco straight from the source and catching the train to Roma stazione because it’s a long weekend, so why not? Its’s nothing short of a dream. It’s been jammed pack full of travel, adventure, life lessons, challenges and scenery out of story books.

Truth be told, I couldn’t help but suffer a bit from imposter syndrome in the beginning. Like some how I am just “faking” this life or that I’ll wake up and find out that it was all a dream. It’s one thing to vacation in places such as this, but to actually live, to be a local— it’s entirely different. You can’t just fake it till you make it, you actually have to figure it out, find your place among this foreign place. Most Italians still just assume we’re tourists, you wouldn’t believe the looks I got and still get when I explain that I “live down the road” to the Venetians. Like somehow I misunderstood what they had asked. I get it, we stand out, we look like tourists.

How did we end up here?

Italy was not ever a part of the plan, never even on the radar. Unlike Australia, where that was always “the end goal,” — we (meaning, my amazingly hard working husband) worked incessantly in his career at Boeing, taking all the necessary steps to align himself to be a candidate for the job down under. These strategic moves over time provided years to prepare for that potential move and to plan our life around the possibility of us moving abroad. Which ultimately unfolded in 2020, of course ( after 3 years in the making). Which is detailed in The Expat Story 1-3 if you haven’t read about that adventure during the pandemic.

This story is much different. Without disclosing the gritty details, there was an unexpected, last minute opening for this role. An opening on a program not remotely close to his home base program in Seattle, this one based out of Oklahoma City. Somehow, by the round-robin and six degrees of Kevin Bacon, being Boeing management, my husbands name was brought to the table. He was the perfect fit, with his background and previous expatriation experience. But would he be willing to move his whole family again, a mere months after returning from Adelaide?

Of course you all know the answer now.

I laugh a bit because, wrapping up our abroad living in Australia in 2021 we felt ready to start the next chapter. We were confident in saying it was time to build a solid foundation, to slow down. To get the kids in a school that they could stay at for longer than a year. To build a community and make friends we wouldn’t have to say goodbye to. Perhaps it was the Covid burn out, or the lockdown restrictions. Or maybe even just being so far from our family and friends, we were just plain homesick and ready for stability. So we thought.

I’ll never forget the day we got word of this opportunity. I was suffering horribly from a case of vertigo and feeling absolutely out-of-sorts. My husband approached me with an awestruck face saying “you’ll never believe the email I just received” — “enlighten me,” I say, unenthusiastically. “There is a job opportunity for me to support NATO……. in Italy” he goes on to say. As you can imagine my surprise, my face contorts to some strange wait, whaaatttt? face. “Where ……. in Italy?” I say. “Venice” he replies, matter of factly.

It was basically a done deal after that, I didn’t need much convincing. We did however need voices of reason and clear minded people to assure us that we weren’t making a totally insane, brash decision. Knowing full and well we literally just returned from a year abroad, across the globe, during a global pandemic. We approached my family timidly, anxious to hear what their thoughts were on this latest endeavor. A job opportunity that would ultimately take us far away, again. When we delivered the news and explained the proposal and location I will never forget my brother in-law, Nate’s response to me saying “how do you say no to Venice?” His exact response was “you don’t say no to Venice, this is your life right now, moving around and saying yes to these opportunities.” He was right, ride the wave while you’re on it, this has been our life for the last 7 years, why stop now?

I hate to sound cliché or super woowoo, but I do believe we somehow manifested this opportunity into our lives. Aligning ourselves just the way we needed to, the move(s) to Florida, moving to Australia and saying yes over and over to so many things even if they were uncomfortable and difficult for our whole family. I believe in some crazy cosmic energy this opportunity found us, not the other way around.

I can say with certainty, this turned out to be the greatest non-planned detour of my life. However it landed in our lap, I am eternally grateful for this opportunity.

Getting here on the other hand, wasn’t as easy as simply saying yes, agreeing to terms and BAM you’re seamlessly on an International assignment in Italy. This time we had only a few months to plan and make huge changes. It meant starting over. Again, for the umpteenth time. I can promise, it doesn’t get easier. You just get better at it.

We did it though! Within a few insane months we did a full 360. We sold our PNW house, re-stored what is left of our belongings in a giant box, parked the cars for hibernation part 2 and re-packed for a semi nomadic life in Europe. We then traveled across the globe to embark on a completely impromptu life ahead. My husband started a “new job” with a new crew. We enrolled the children in their 5th school (in 3 years) made a new home in a tiny suburb of Venice and have since engulfed ourselves as best as one can into this Italian life.

It’s been a year of so many firsts and the most adventure we could dream up. Not only have we traveled all throughout the beautiful country of Italy, we have managed to visit eight (and counting) other surrounding countries. We’ve hiked some of the most beautiful peaks in the world, tasted foods from many cultures, met people from so many different walks of life and have taken full advantage of this amazing detour life surprised us with.

Now, I am also here to remind you that this Italian dream looks fantastic on paper, in photographs and video and of course it is— I am not here to tell you otherwise. I just want to also point out say that “real life” is still happening behind the scenes, this is not vacation. There are day to day struggles and life challenges that don’t just magically disappear when you move (even to a fairytale place such as this.) It’s still a balancing act of chores, homework, and fun. I’m still second guessing myself daily if i’m doing all the right things. I’m still sorting mountains of laundry and literally racing off to ballet twice a week to make sure our kids are “well rounded.” There is still a job my husband shows up to daily with its own stresses and hardships. I am still playing nurse with the non-stop illnesses that find their way to our home week after week this year and faulting myself for not ever figuring out how to secure a pediatrician here. I’m feeling guilty (already) over the friends our children will have to say goodbye to, again. Sleep deprivation, anxiety and overthinking still creep in when I least expect it and there will never be enough hours in the day to get it all in. There are bills to pay that undoubtably we’d rather spend on a trip to Florence or the Swiss alps, but have to be realistic. There are discomforts of being away from our home country and frustrations of how differently things are done here (I said different, not wrong).

It’s been a year of learning curves adjusting to the Italian way, and it hasn’t been entirely “La Dolce Vita.” Language, social cues, “just roll with its” and “well that’s different” all come with time and hard lessons learned, there is no short cut to adjusting to an entirely new way of living. One car, biking as a main form of transportation, google translate is my new best friend, mid-day closures, and dinner starting at 7pm (to name a few). There have also been moments that intrinsically feel like this is where we were meant to be. Countless CORE memories that will forever be etched into my being. Too many pinch-me moments that I cant even count on my fingers and toes. This is our Italian Dream. Not perfect. Just fluid and effervescent.

Stay tuned for the next segment documenting some of our “daily life” happenings here in the beautiful country of Italy. As always, thank you for following along our journey, comment below anything you’d love to hear more about.

Ciao for now!

—Vanessa