new year, same me….

Here we are, the year twenty nineteen is upon us…

We’re finally getting into the swing of things post holidays, (well most of us are anyway). The last of the decorations have come down and neatly put away until next year. Your final garbage haul is going out from the endless piles of wrapping paper and boxes that were once perfectly placed under your tree. Houses are bulging a wee bit more from all the goodies we received from friends and family, and your pants may or may not be fitting a bit less comfortably then you remember a month ago (totally worth it though, right?) There is an urgency in the air that you can almost touch. Everyone is back to school (yay for freedom, again), or you’re back to work and ready to take this year by storm.

The new year is a time to reflect on what was and embrace what will come. For some that means a fresh start and new beginnings while others may be having a harder time saying “the end” to what may have been their best year yet. Either way, we are all embarking on uncharted territory, bracing ourselves for whats about to unfold.

Now, I have talked about “resolutions” in a previous post which you can read here if you haven’t already, Small tasks, big change.  However, this post is a bit different. Less about setting goals and more about just what the new year brings; hope, a fresh start or maybe a continued start, a time to manifest change or maybe just a year you really want to LIVE untethered!

It’s the time of year when gym goers numbers grow by the hundreds and the sidewalks are now bustling with beginner runners and bikers.  To be honest, as a former “gym rat” this used to drive me absolutely nuts.  I liked the slowness of the quiet gym I belonged to, I liked seeing the same familiar faces I was used to seeing. I hated having to fight over weights and treadmills knowing id see only half of these “resolution people” come mid February.  I thought, whats the point? Why are people even bothering with these resolutions they know they will never stick to?

But as I get older and understand well, life a little more, I’m suddenly empathizing more and more with these people.  Sometimes we do get off track. We all get caught up in tough seasons of life at some point. We don’t always have the time, the resources or the motivation to be perfect all the time. We have schedules, children, jobs, husbands/ wives (boyfriend/ girlfriends) all the things that can sometimes take priority over our own wellbeing. We’re all hostage to it at some point, and sure, the new year is a cliché time of year to regain control, but you know what… WHATEVER!  Whatever it takes to get people back on track, to get rid of the baggage (aka, time to ditch that loser boyfriend you’re still with). Whatever it takes to get motivated to make yourself a priority again. Cliché or not, it’s still you making a choice to do better, to feel better and to recognize that you are WORTH it.

Even if half of you stick with what you set out to achieve, that still leaves another half of you crushing workouts, making better food choices, less toxicity, more mindfulness, and more whatever it is you wanted to make priority this year. I think it’s extraordinary, I think its inspiring. We need to be less judgmental of those who fall off and more enthusiastic about those who are rocking their intentions.

But, I need to get real with you…

You know what I really HATE about the new year? The slogan “new year, new me!” I despise it, now more than ever. Why you ask? Because I think it implies that whoever you were “last year” wasn’t good enough.  That you weren’t worthy of bringing that “you” in to this new year. Whether you put on 15 pounds, went through a nasty breakup, lost a friend or even a job. It implies that you weren’t enough, that the bad things you went through will remain there, in the the past. That your downfalls just aren’t suited for this “new year, new me” that you are trying to create. Well I call BS. I believe whatever we go through, still is a piece of our being.  We can learn from it, and gain an understanding of why we make these toxic choices, why we continue to think we aren’t worthy. It doesn’t mean it has to define you, but it’s still interwoven into your fabric that makes you, YOU!

The new year is a time to reminisce and attribute what the past has provided you, or in some cases, taken from you. A time where you can process what you’ve learned from your hardships. This past year, I lost a grandparent, she lived well in to her nineties and lived a full, beautiful life- yet it’s still not nearly enough time and surely never easy to say a final goodbye. My younger brother lost two of his best friends in a matter of months, both taken tragically before the age of thirty. Loses you’d never want anyone to endure once, let alone twice. I’ve had to learn how to be a support to friends and family from afar who are suffering from their own misfortunes and heartaches.

These experiences, these significant pieces of our past are part of what shape us. They are part of our story. They teach us to live unapologetically, they teach us to love hard, and that its okay to say THIS ISN’T FAIR!!! We can’t always learn from our successes and wins. We have to take the good with the bad, and understand that life doesn’t come with a manuscript. We have to navigate roads we never intended on traveling, and trust that somehow we can come out stronger on the other side. Even if it was the hardest thing you’ve ever experienced.

On the other hand, some of you are coming off the best year of your life. Maybe you got married, or had your first (or third) child. Maybe you got that promotion you’ve been so deserving of.  Celebrate those victories, cherish these BIG moments, but don’t fear that it is the end, just because it is over. Trust that this is just the beginning. That the best still is yet to come, even if it doesn’t seem possible. Carry this joy with you and let it be a foundation for you to continue to grow on.

The light, the dark and the gray are what makes us human, what gives us layers and texture. Let the past be a tool of who you want to remain or strive to become. Never forget, that just because your year was or wasn’t your “best year ever,” doesn’t mean you need to change who you are, or who you want to become. While, I do believe its important to always be striving to be our best self, our most worthy self, I still believe that whatever it takes for you to get there, is still pivotal to who you are.  So lets change the narrative. Lets change our bad choices, lets change our nit-picking, lets change our attitudes, but let us not change who we are. New year, same you, it’s just as powerful. Be YOU, be the best you, but girl, you are and always have been, perfectly you.