sunshinestateofmine

You know some days you feel so good in your own skin

But it’s okay if you wanna change the body that you came in

‘Cause you look greatest when you feel like a damn queen

We’re all just playing a game in a way, trying to win at life

— Hailey Steinfield

HOORAY!

You made it to the FINAL part in this series. Finding {YOUR} way to a balanced, healthy life! Hopefully by now you’re all caught up with part one and two of this series, because this one is about putting the puzzle together.

Whether you’re already living your best sunshine state, or still on the path to finding your way, it’s never too late. It’s time to stop living victim to sooo many rules, conflicting guidelines and take back your life in a healthy way. Let’s face it, we all have areas in our lives that need a little improvement, its hard to be “well” in all in ALL areas of our life. My hopes are that this can be a helpful tool to inspire you to find your shine!

Whatever it is in your life that your feeling needs a little help, acknowledging and admitting is the first step to regaining control. For some of you, it may be physical, it may be mental wellness, maybe it’s spiritual, or maybe you need to LET GO of the reins and stop striving for perfection (because perfect is boring) Perhaps you’re in need of a full overhaul— no matter what it looks like, dedicate the time and energy to make the necessary changes that make you feel your best!

Once I started tuning in to myself while tuning out societal influences, I was soooo much happier. No more confined boxes or starting fresh on Monday, no more doing things that do not suit my needs, just a healthy balanced life that is sustainable. Find what works for YOU– not your bestie, even if she is killing it

---

A guide to finding your shine

Number one: Find your fitness “thing”

Exercise is such a huge part of our well being. It energizes you, it creates endorphins that make you feel good, it can improve your mood, boost your health, can aid in fighting diseases and mental health.. yada yada you get the drift, we all (should) know it’s importance! But it’s also pivotal to find something that suits you and that you actually enjoy! Otherwise it will never last.

Running was (and is) a huge part of my story– I wasn’t the most amazing runner but I learned to love it, to crave it! It’s a place I can be with my thoughts, a place where I can really be quiet and let my body do the work. Something I can always improve and be better at. The funny thing is, I used to hate it. Growing up playing soccer, running was always used as a form of punishment. If you screwed up you had to run a lap, or a mile. If you were late, run a lap. It was never fun. Who would want to just run for fun?! It seemed so monotonous. Until I began to do it on my own and not just because I “had to,” I started to understand it and began to love the way it made me feel. In control, in the zone and a hell of a stress reliever.

Even though I loved to run, my knee never really did. Suffering two knee injuries in my past, one from soccer and one training for a marathon, (this one was a major blow, because I’ve always wanted to finish that marathon) after injury number two I honestly thought id never run again. Recovering from my first knee injury was hard enough and to be honest not even close to a full heal. Injuring it again, felt like I lost a part of me.

Eventually, as time went on and I rehabbed my knee back into somewhat decent shape {again} I was able to run, but I was never as strong.  I was constantly battling crippling knee pains, limping through runs and my ambitions for finishing a full marathon were completely squashed.

After having children, as you read in part two, I refound my joy in running. This time however, it was different. This time, I trained properly. I added weight training, strengthening ALL of my muscles, not just my running muscles. I biked, hiked, HIIT trained and Plyo’d my way to the strongest body of my life. And you know what? I haven’t suffered from knee pain since.

Running today looks different than it used to {double strollers and slower 90 degree day runs} but it still brings me the joy it always has. It’s still a place I can unwind and decompress. It’s a time for Colin and I to talk about our day, to connect, to have a moment for us (as long as the kids are behaving, that is.) Some days are harder than others, no doubt, I’m human. It’s hard to always find the motivation, but having a partner beside me is a huge part of how I do it. {which will soon bring me to tip number two}

I urge you to find your thing. I’m not telling you to go full bore in to CrossFit or sign up for an Iron Man and I’m not telling you to become a runner over night either. Find the thing that makes you feel good. Maybe it’s yoga, maybe it’s trx, or cycle, maybe you are motivated by others and classes are your jam. Whatever it is, I encourage you to find it. Try new things, make yourself uncomfortable! Because that’s how you find what you’re really made of, a strong kick ass woman (or man.)

If you are new to working out, start small. Something like couch to 5k is really great. Take a walk each evening after dinner. Little things to create better habits in your day will point you in the right direction to a healthy life. Set mini goals to obtain each week and soon it will start to become habitual and become easier and easier and you may even start to love it!

Number two: Find your hype girl (or boy!)

Yep, we all need help with motivation at times. Because, life. Having someone on your team is the best way to keep you accountable (and them as well!) Colin, my husband has been a huge supporter and motivator for me. Yes, he is also part super human and can run like a robot. Seriously. He has always had the ability to just run. No matter the training, he could run a marathon in a days notice. But, that’s besides the point— we all struggle to find motivation at times (even robots). But he’s there every day by my side, pushing me and sweating along with me no matter what it looks like. Sometimes it’s not pretty, tired and uninspired, but we’re doing it! That’s the key.

Fitness communities are also a fantastic resource. I am personally a part of several online. They each serve different purposes for me, whether it’s support, inspiration, workouts, or recipes. Having like-minded communities at my convenience can be so useful! This is a great tool for those of you that don’t have a workout partner at your disposal.

Use your friends and family as your tribe! They are the ones whom know you the best and will undoubtedly be your biggest cheerleaders. I personally couldn’t do it without them! My husband, best friends and family are a huge part of my “hype team” — We all have down days and insecurities, so it’s important to have your people there to remind you how awesome you are doing.

Surround yourself with people you align with. Studies show that if you associate with people whom inspire or motivate you, it will empower you to make the necessary changes to succeed. Goal oriented, healthy, happy people are infectious and undoubtedly the best people to have on your hype team.

Number three: Find your joy.

J.O.Y.

Definition:

a feeling of great pleasure and happiness

What really makes your soul happy?? Something other than who your surrounded by, like your family or friends, because of course they bring you joy!

I mean something that you do that brings you joy. Maybe it’s a girls night in. Maybe it’s a special date night. Maybe it’s your faith or working out. Maybe its creating art or playing music. Whatever IT IS, do MORE of it. Make it a priority to do the things that bring you the most happiness. Because joy leads to more joy.

I love being to be at beach or near water. I love the calmness it creates and how grounding it is. I love the vibe and the community that surrounds it. Beachy boardwalks or rocky seashores, I love it all.

I love creating. I’ve always been drawn to art and crafting, something I undoubtedly inherited from my own mamma. I love all forms of art– painting, sewing, decorating, party planning– creating is an outlet and a space for me to tell a story.

Finding new funky restaurants with a cool atmosphere is also my jam. It may be a great outdoor space, or maybe a really cozy rustic spot, maybe it’s beach side and has views to die for. All of it, I find my joy in. Good healthy yummy food no doubt makes me feel happy, but it’s also what goes along with those meals. The company you dine with, celebrations or reunions with a friend you haven’t seen in years. Perhaps hanging with my husband snuggled up with a big glass of yummy wine, talking about the future and all the fun that lie ahead.

Find what calls you and do more of it!

Number four: create the time

We all have busy lives. I get it. Full time mom, full time wife, part time job, full time fitness girl over here 🙋🏼‍♀️. All these things can take priority over our own needs and wellness. But we do have the ability to change this. We have soooo much access these days to quick things that can make such a huge difference in our well being. 10 min workouts, healthy easy {real ingredient} meals with 5 ingredients or less, 10 min meditations, smart watches to motivate movement, juice bars, health stores a plenty! All these things have become easier and more accessible for us to live a healthier life. It’s no longer an excuse to say we don’t have the time! It really can be so easy. I encourage you to step out of your cloudy, stressed head for a minute and create a space where you can breathe a minute. Where you visibly can see the things in your life that maybe aren’t filling your cup or suiting your needs. Now… it’s time cut them out! If there isn’t anything feasible you can cut out (which i’d be shocked) then I urge to you set the alarm 20 min earlier than normal (I know, not the sleep! but it’s worth it) if you woke up just 20 min earlier you could squeeze in a workout, or pack a really yummy healthy lunch that you didn’t just slam together with whatever you can get your hands on. Even if you just want to get up before the kids and have a hot cup of coffee solo and maybe scroll the internet (hello mental wellness!) These small things can create a bit of more time that can make a big difference and I promise you will have more time for productivity, happiness and wellness.

Number five: Wake up with purpose

I know this sounds so woowoo, but its true! Knowing your purpose in this life is vitalizing. Remembering that you are here for a reason, that you are living with intention. To be guide for your children or tribe, to serve, to teach, or just being a good human. Waking up with intentional purpose can increase your overall well being– research shows it can extend your life expectancy up to 7 years (wooohoo!) according to power9.

Number six: Be selfish

Learn to say no. Wait Whaaaaat?? Yep, you heard me right. There is real power in saying no. So many of us are guilty of being yes men {I was so guilty of this.} We raise our hands at the drop of the hat to volunteer, to go to every birthday party, to every work event. We begin to lose our own freedom because we are living in autopilot always agreeing to to everything, because it’s what we’ve always done.

Moving across the country, I finally had the time to realize how busy I was. That my weekends were once planned months in advance. Always with fun things, of course, but no wiggle room. Once we moved, suddenly my calendar wasn’t filled for the entire year ahead. I had a say in what my weekends would look like. This is not to say I don’t miss my “things” or parties, or fun plans with my friends and family (because some weekends I’d love to be at those special events) but it’s nice to have a say now without the undeniable guilt. I’m not telling you to move away from your life to have free time. I just realized that I should have been better about saying no. It’s okay to be selfish every now and again, it’s okay do the things you choose to do. Your friend will understand if you miss a birthday. Your family will understand if you miss one dinner. There is real beauty in time, with the ability to be spontaneous and make plans on the fly. Its certainly been a life changing lesson for me, that I am fully taking advantage of–

Spontaneous trips to Disneyworld will always be some of my most favorite memories that I will hold on to forever. The pure joy it brings my children and even us is unmatchable.

Or bike rides on the beach at a moments notice. With salty air and country music blasting from our speakers as we sail down the street with our kids in tow.

These are the moments that I cherish and treasure because they were not planned or penciled in. Just raw real “let’s do it! movements.”

Number seven: getting back to basics of food

Last but CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, is one of the most fundamental parts of our well being. Food. Diet. Nutrition. How ever you want to label it, it’s most definitely one of the key factors in how we feel, sleep, live, function and survive!

I’m not here to preach exactly how you should be eating. Because let’s be honest, I am not perfect all the time. I don’t subscribe to a specific “diet.” I believe in delicious pizza, a crisp Sauvignon blanc, dark chocolate and air popped popcorn too many nights of the week. I also believe there are many ways to a healthy food life. It’s certainly not a one size fits all. Every body has its own unique needs, portion size, sensitivities and desires. I think it’s most important to find what works for you. If vegan or vegetarian is your jam, do it, if high protein low carb is more your forté then roll with it. But I do know that the choices we are making should mostly made up of real whole foods. It doesn’t have to be so complicated, you can have really delicious food that is made from only a few ingredients. We don’t need 5 course meals to feel satisfied, focus on quality over quantity. At the end of the day, the way you eat should bring you true, healthy fulfillment.

Food at the end of the day comes down to fuel. Fuel to energize you through a work day, fuel to power through a workout, or power your brain for an important exam, fuel to sustain. Not just any food, quality nutritious fueling foods that your body can use!

You all know my history with food and that my relationship with food was so skewed. But I’ve learned so much through my own fails and wins. I’ve learned the importance of the role of food in our lives and how we use it. It shouldn’t be so calculated and stressful, it should however be enjoyed and make you feel good!

Food is such a integrated part of our daily lives. If we learned how to use food and what our bodies need to thrive it then becomes so effortless when we want to do the things we love. Like going to a restaurant or when we travel. When we go to a party. We shouldn’t have to sacrifice these things to be “healthy.” You can have both! Because what is a life without a cold beer during the football game, fresh cookies at moms house, tapas parties with your besties and sampling new foods from around the world on your epic travels. Enjoying the foods and the company is all about having that positive healthy relationship with food that I had talked about so much.

We all have bad days and seasons of life where our nutrition slips. I believe consistency is better than perfection. If your always trying to strive for the ultimate perfection and achieving nirvana, I hate to tell ya, you probably won’t. You’re always going to be feeling guilty and failing. You’re going to be starting fresh on Monday or next month when you’re not so busy, rather than just enjoying that indulgence and making your next meal a healthy mindful choice and getting back on track right away.

If you strip it down, at your core you know when your living your best or when your slipping and your own accountability is what matters the most. Finding a balance where you’re truly happy and feeling good is really the key to it all. Be true and honest to yourself, be your own accountant.

Final thoughts:

All of these things have been the building blocks of my success to finding my shine. I’m far from perfect and I’m always striving to learn, adapt, to create happiness and balance around me.

These tools are meant to inspire you to live purposefully, eat wholesomely, align yourself with positivity, create more time for YOU and find the joy in this crazy beautiful life ✌🏻.

let the past be the past…

If you haven’t already read part one of this series, I encourage you scroll down and learn a bit about my my history 👇🏼👇🏼. Not only with food but my overall state of well being, for a better understanding of who I was and how far I’ve come.

If you did, then good! This post is far less damning and more encouraging! More woohoos than boohoos.

Sometimes the little things can turn into the big things…

My late twenties was when my health as a whole– physical, mental and emotional state began to slowly morph together. I wasn’t running to counteract what I ate, I was no longer filling up on empty calories and most importantly I was emotionally and mentally much happier and healthier. I was less consumed, less concerned with fads and what everyone else was doing. It was time to do what was best for ME.

Around this time Colin and I took a big step and bought our first home together. This meant it was time to be a real grown up, managing money, bills, all the fun stuff that comes along with being a home owner. It was also the time to start learning how to cook REAL food– we no longer lived in the city, so getting take out or going out was off the table. It was now or never. Time to learn and to sit down and enjoy what we created together, good or bad it was a part of the process.

The concept of creating and taking pleasure in a real meal is so important and something I think all of us need to get back to. Even for me, a self proclaimed “busy body” I believe this is so pivotal to your well being. Truthfully, this is where a lot of our problems are stemming from I believe (not only with health) but so many other basic human needs. Connecting with our spouse, talking with our children, basic daily check ins that can be so essential for everyone. Today, our society is constantly on the go, always in a hurry with the NEED to be busy, like we’re trying to prove that we’re better for it. We are not longer making it a priority to create time to just slowwww down. We’ve lost sight of the process of a meal– the shopping, the prepping and actually enjoying the fruits of our labor. Not just nibbling bites around the kitchen island as we’re hustling out the door. For me, this process was a step in the right direction, even as a young adult I knew this. It wasn’t perfect- but boy was it better!

I really began to look into my whole self and listen. Remembering what my body was made to do and get back to the roots of who I was. I loved to be outside, active, hanging with my people and eating wholesome foods that made me feel good. Organically it all became easier. Less fuss. Maybe it came with age or being more self aware, but for the first time, I felt like it was making sense. I felt good, I felt like I was finally living a healthy happy balanced life that I had been searching for– that’s all I ever wanted.

First comes love, then comes marriage…..

Time went on… ahem, marriage and two kids later (insert cute babies)

Photo: Adele Cabanillas

Photo: Wit & Whimsy Creative, LLC.

Things went a bit south {no pun intended}. Having 2 babies within a span of 22 months my body and overall health had been put on the back burner. I was beaming with joy and staying active, but my goals had slid. It just wasn’t a priority. And it was all good! A season a life I don’t regret whatsoever. I had babies to feed, chase and care for around the clock how could I even think about myself? Washing my hair and feeding myself a full meal was an accomplishment in itself.

If you are currently in this season or something similar, perhaps juggling school or a full time job or both!— know that it’s perfectly normal. You are not alone. In the whole scheme of life it’s such a nugget of time; there is always a time to find your way again. Don’t let this scare you from trying to regain control when the time is right. There is also no shame in devoting of self care during these challenging times and BRAVO if you have! Something I probably should have done a little more of, truthfully.

Having children has changed my life in so many ways {obviously, right?!} of course it brought me more joy and love than I ever thought possible. But it also restored my faith in my body and as a woman. Trusting that I know what I’m supposed to do and how to do it, not by what I’ve read but letting instincts guide the way. Motherhood taught me about GRACE and gratitude. For what my body created, what it’s provided and how it recovers constantly. Learning to show myself love when I need it the most.

Hopping back on the self love wagon….

Six months after our second child, Teagan was born my husband got the opportunity to take a job across the country in Jacksonville, Florida. {More on the big move to come} with endless sunshine and time on my side I was ready to reclaim myself {again}. This time for good, no guilt or excuses. I started running. I found fitness communities that I resonated with (if you need any tips on this, I’d be happy to help) I got back to my roots. I cut the crap out, became more mindful and stuck to clean healthy whole food. It wasn’t pretty at first. Man those first months were so hard. I could barely run two miles, I had no muscle mass. I was sore. Boy was I sore. But it felt good. Felt good to be sore, to be taking back my body.

I knew it was going to take more than just a couple miles and healthy food. I needed to REALLY push myself and remember that it wasn’t a sprint, but a marathon. This time however, I had all the tools and I was ready to put in the work! This was the time to find my forever; routines I could stick with and food I could live on. I didn’t want to feel deprived or miserable either. I kept it simple and achievable. Clean healthy foods, lots of fruits and veggies and plenty of water– I even had my wine and all the things I love. Basic right? Just as it should be. Striving for perfection or impossible guidelines wasn’t my schtick.

I owe a lot to my husband as well. He has not only been a huge supporter but he and my girls have been there from the very start. Encouraging and sweating the whole way through. He may have put on a few pounds of “empathy weight” too during “the baby years” 😬. So it wasn’t just me that needed a full reset. It was a family goal! We were in it together.

putting in the work ….

We ran 3-5 times a week and biked when we had the opportunity. We hiked when the temps were conducive. Mixed in various home workout videos and evening family strolls. We made it fun and always mixed it up- it was (and still is) part of our daily routine. No excuses, just part of it. Those 90 degree days were (are) butt kickers though, I will admit.

As the months ticked by the muscles began to peek, the miles became easier and I was soon stronger than I’d ever been in my whole life. Can you imagine, age 32 (at the time) and was at my strongest I’d ever been, post two babies and all {pats self on back}…

One of the biggest things I owe to my successes and finding my own “sunshine state” was letting go of the idea perfection or achieving “nirvana” if you will. I don’t subscribe to trendy diets or regimented eating. I listen to my body, I practice mindfulness and have lived enough to now know what I need to thrive, to recover, when it’s time to cleanse, or when it needs a little extra love. I urge you to do the same. Cut out the noise and focus on what makes YOU thrive.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not a one size fits all thing. We all require vastly different needs for our bodies. Whether it be dietary restrictions, blood sugar, age, gender, are you an athlete? Do you have health issues? All these things matter.

Most importantly, I didn’t lose myself to a plan. Part of who I am and my own sunshine state of mind is getting OUT! Enjoying company, BBQs and parties with friends. I love to go to restaurants, I like to have a beer with my husband. I like wine on Wednesday just because and knowing that the work I put in allows me the things I love. The foundations I’ve created are there and will remain. They don’t restart on Monday.

Your things may look a little different than mine, but you shouldn’t have to give up all things you love to feel good. Finding the balance is the key to success.

If you’re reading this and feeling overwhelmed, how do I start? I have so much to learn! Im a mess. I don’t have time. I hate exercise. I just can’t lose the weight. It’s too hard. Know that you can. You just have to start small. Be mindful. Be patient.

Stay tuned for part three for all my tips to finding your own sunshine state!

Disclaimer:

(I am not a registered dietician or doctor, these are my own personal beliefs. This is what works for me and my body, it may not be the same for you. If you have dietary restrictions or any health related issues, be sure to consult your doctor before making any dietary or health changes.)

What does healthy look like {to me}:

This is SUCH a loaded question for me– I have so much to say on this topic I can’t possibly cover it in one post. I’ve decided to turn it in to a three part series. I want to share my story of where I’ve been and how far I’ve come. Hopefully inspiring you to look deeper in to your own story, what’s shaped YOU and what you’ve learned along the way. For those of you that are just beginning your own journey, I hope this helps you realize it’s never too late. It’s always a good time to find your way!

Every individuals idea of health is much different. It comes in all shapes, sizes, and fitness levels. What works for others may NOT necessarily work for you. And that’s okay! More than okay! Our bodies are uniquely designed just for us– it’s important to understand that, it’s not something that is one size fits all.

With that being said, thin people aren’t always the epitome of good health. Just the same, someone having curves doesn’t necessarily mean they are unhealthy. Health is more than a number on a scale. Or six pack abs. It’s more than a trendy diet and a 6 min mile. Health is a state of mind, a contentment, a healthy RELATIONSHIP with food— it’s a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual state of being.

My main for goal in this blog is to inspire you to live your personal best life. To obtain that “sunshine state” and feel healthy in ALL aspects of your life.  To live a vibrant, balanced life, where you aren’t feeling victim to a confined box. Because this life is beautiful and should be enjoyed! It should be filled with yummy wine, great food and happy hour with your besties.

Where I’ve been…

As a young child I grew up always having been smaller framed–I didn’t have to think about food, weight, or ill fitting clothes, I was naturally thin. Awkwardly thin at times even. I was an active child, with a love for soccer, bike rides, climbing trees and playing in the woods until the darkness covered the yard. I grew up with a Father whom was a runner and an outside-the-box sports enthusiast (dirt biking, fishing, snowmobiling and skiing) I was always encouraged to try things, whether they scared me or not. Believe it or not I did them all, and I wasn’t half bad! I was pushed to play, imagine, to be outside- to move! I truly believe this was a pivotol piece of my foundation, building blocks of who I am today.  A risk taker and an adventurer, a mover.

The turning point…

As Middle school and High School hit, (ahem, puberty) I began feeling more and more insecure.  With more of my time getting filled with school work, social actives and the never ending high school pressures, I started to lose myself, slowly.  My body was changing, I had bad skin, my weight began to fluctuate more and more. Mood swings, bouts of depressions that I couldn’t control. It wasn’t what I was used to– I was feeling like I was watching my life from outside my own body.  It wore on me. Food didn’t run my life, but I had a horrible relationship with it. It was always in the back of my mind- can I eat this? should I eat this? I was no longer just “naturally thin” anymore, I had to make efforts to stay in shape. The fear of being “fat” regularly haunted me. It was consuming.

Oddly enough food was also the only thing in my life I felt like I could control.  I could count the calories, I could run it off, I could skip meals.  This lead to further depression, bulimia, self hate and major body dysmorphia. A really dark time, nonetheless. The funny thing is, I’m sure most people who knew me didn’t even know this about me. I don’t blame them, because I was a master disguiser– I certainly didn’t want people to know. I was ashamed. From the outside everything looked happy and “fine” but I wasn’t. I was in a war with myself, all the while putting on a brave face.

High School is a really tough time I think for a lot of people. Sure it’s a lot of fun, Friday night lights, school spirit, parties, always having friends around. But it’s also a time where some are becoming a “woman” or a “man” — hormones are raging. Mean girls. Mean boys! Peer pressure. Impossible standards, and constantly trying to keep up.

Lucky for me, I did get help. I knew this wasn’t something I could handle on my own anymore. I was tired of feeling like a victim, feeling so consumed by this endless fight. Thank goodness for my family, my friends, and doctors — with their help, support and constant check-ins I got better, little by little.

During college, I was just like most 18-21 year olds, drinking too much, late night munchies, poor eating habits, triple shot coffees for breakfast and tirelessly living at the gym.  I thought eating canned green beans with spray butter (GICK) and yogurt parfaits with fruit loops (what’s up WSU cub!) was me being a ‘smart’ eater. Truthfully, it WAS hard– surviving on a tiny budget, eating cafeteria food and then living in a sorority where I didn’t even have a choice on food. We got what we got, and that was it. Usually calorie loaded, fried, and extra buttery for flavor.  I’d try to counteract it by burning countless calories at the gym, or running 8+ miles around the track– Needless to say, it wasn’t a healthy way of living. Small framed or not, I was not taking care of me. Mentally I was in a much healthier place, however. I wasn’t consumed anymore, I wasn’t as worried about food. My past mistakes had resonated and I knew I didn’t want to go down those dark roads again. I truly was much happier- “freshman 10” and all. Truthfully, it was some of the best years of my life.

In my mid-twenties I was beginning to understand my body a little better.  I was making smarter choices here and there, but still cutting meals and crash dieting. Living on bad protein bars, microwave popcorn and empty calories. {Mixed in with a little bit of lean chicken, veggies and fruit, I swear!} I traded in the college Busch lights and sugary Mikes Hard Lemonades for vodka sodas and Coors light, yay {baby steps!} Slowly, the college puffiness started to come off, thankfully, cus’ girl, that was not a good look.  It was never just easy for me though.  I was constantly failing and sabotaging myself with diets and once I found one, the next week there was conflicting information about why that diet wasn’t good. It was  exhausting! Why did it have to be so hard?! There had to be a better way to feel good and not be consumed with rules and relentless workouts.

What I began to understand…

Honestly, until I wrote this all out chronologically I didn’t realize HOW BAD it was. How hard it once was. Having come from such an unhealthy place has really shaped who I am today, its guided me to a much healthier happy place.

Ironically, even through the downs and the up’s in my childhood and young adult life, I still feel grateful. It wasn’t all bad I swear! I learned so many valuable lessons. What to do better, what to not do, I learned about GRACE. I also realized we all have our own struggles and insecurities. They may look a little different, and some may be better at fighting them- some may even be still fighting them. I hope one day I can lend a listening, empathetic ear as my own children go through their own body issues. Because it’s real, not vanity.

Most importantly, remember you don’t have to struggle in silence. You can lean on your friends or family. There is NO shame in telling your story and getting yourself help. It’s the least selfish thing you can do. We all need a little self love ❤️

I look forward to sharing my journey of obtaining my own “sunshine state” with you on PART TWO of my series! Stay tuned ✌🏻

Hi I’m Vanessa, thanks for swinging by! I’m sure most of you reading this know me already, but if we haven’t met, it’s nice to ‘meet’ you! Welcome to my small corner of the internet.

the scoop:

Born and raised in the moderately damp and ever beautiful state of Washington (The other Washington, for all those east coasters out there). And no, it doesn’t actually rain there everyday… its funny how many people literally think that, once you tell them you’re from Seattle. But maybe we ought to just keep telling everyone its miserable and yes, in fact it does rain EVERY SINGLE DAY there– just to keep them away?  Because as all the PNWers know Seattle is becoming insanely overcrowded and completely unaffordable now. Sigh… and the traffic is whack! But it’ll always be home and always have my heart. 

Most recently (Pushing 3 years, ahem) I’ve been living on the opposite coast, residing in Jacksonville Florida. What was meant to be a ‘short cup of coffee’ (16 months) in Florida has now turned in to an actual life here {I can literally hear all the cringes from family and friends back home}.  It’s completely different, not only in terms of climate, but what we do, how we do them and a really nice change of pace. Days are filled with sunny runs, spontaneous adventures, beach bummin’, BBQs in the winter?! DISNEYWORLD! … And freedom that we’ve never had before.

I’m the anti homebody. I get stir crazy after spending a day at home. Don’t get me wrong, I love a lazy couch day or a backyard BBQ as much as the next gal, but one day and I’m good.  I just find that there is so much to discover out there and I certainly won’t find it endlessly cleaning or tidying up the house… which for me, is an endless-task.  Or repeatedly having to say the word NO to my girls… cus’ lets be honest, that gets tiresome, and naggy. So I tend to just say F-it, let’s get out of here!! Lucky for me, my Husband is cut from the same cloth, so it takes little arm pulling to get him out.  I live for adventures, mini-weekends away, happy hour with my guy, discovering new yummy restaurants, hiking, biking, you name it. I love good food, especially good-for-you food, I am a beverage connoisseur (as my BFF, Mary, always points out) but seriously– im constantly on the hunt for new healthy, interesting drinks / concoctions (maybe i’ll do a post on this?).

Most days you’ll find me shuttling back and forth from school, sporting a top knot and a “hey, I’m kinda beachy, kinda boho type of style” or running with my husband in the God awful heat of the day (yep, that’s our jam), most likely talking about what on tap for dinner. After that we’re usually counting down the hours to put our girls down {sorry, not sorry} so we can have 2 or 3 blissful hours to ourselves to eat air popped popcorn and binge watch docu-series {so many good ones out these days}.

Speaking of my handsome husband. His name is Colin, and he’s my everything.  He works his butt off {thanks Bill ✈️} to provide this wonderful vibrant life we have. He’s the best Girl-Dad, stroller pusher and shoulder-ride giver. He motivates me, challenges me, and always willing to go the extra mile, for anyone.  Together we have created such an incredible life that I’m so in awe of. I feel so insanely lucky to call this life with him, mine.

the nitty gritty:

We met in junior high, (I know, cheesy right?) But seriously, we did.  Oddly enough, I totally crushed on his older brother first, whom I met through my big sister, Natalie.  After spending a weekend with him and their friends {weeks before JH was starting} he informed me that his younger brother Colin would be attending my school, and just so happens to be the same age. Kismet, I think! And that’s all it took, {well kinda} we dated, then we were BFFs, then we dated some more, then we were kinda BFFs, then we dated again {you get the drift}, then poof! I was off to college at WSU and he was off to AZ. We made it work though, 4 years of long distance dating and lots of memories in between.

After college, my world went spinning a bit. A lot bit. Lots of real life “adulting” went on. I wasted no time, and moved to LA with some of my best girlfriends, lived in the hood, literally– {INGLEWOOD!} During this time, Colin and I split for a bit– only for me to realize it was finally time to go home and start a real life with him.

Here we are now, married 6 years, a house in the PNW, a life in the South, visits all over the United States, even a few abroad.  We’ve ran hundreds of miles together, hiked countless trails together, roadtripped thousands of roads and now have 2 little girls with a lifetime ahead to show them this crazy beautiful world, one mile at a time.

meet the gals:

Rian is our first born and the “easier” child. She always was (shhh, don’t tell Tea). With the exception of her not taking a bottle as a baby she has been a pretty predictable child. She is full of life, sweet, has a hilarious quirky side, which only select people get to witness.  She is quiet, but just social enough to make friends everywhere she goes.  Rian is 5 and going on her second year of Pre-K {august babe}.  Shes a free spirited dancer, a Barbie lover, a collector of randomness, an artist and a Daddys girl thru and thru (tear).

Teagan, our second born, social butterfly of a daughter is 3 (going on 13). She has been stuck to Mama since day one {which makes up for the Daddies girl above}, she’s getting better though! She has a lot to say, literally she never stops talking– “important” mostly nonsensical things to say, but its endearing and hilarious.  Shes a snack monster, a mover and a shaker like me. She wakes up and is ready to tackle the day; demanding a laundry-list of to-dos and needs before we even hit the stairs.  Shes sweet as can be, but fiery all at the same time.

lets wrap it up:

What a wild ride its been.  A beautiful, imperfect, messy, on-the-move life we have made together.  I’m so lucky to have my person along this journey with me, knowing this is exactly where we are supposed to be in this moment. Its funny knowing someone who has nearly known you your whole life, yet still have so much more we want to do. So much more we want to see. Even still, spending a lifetime with him still doesn’t feel like enough time.  So here’s to making the most of it! I dare you to, too!

Truthfully…. I’ve needed a creative outlet… 

As former design student from Washington State University (GO COUGS!) and a now closed Etsy shop owner {emerald orange}— I’ve recently found myself desperate for a creative space. I’ve found myself thumbing thru blogs and lifestyle IG accounts wondering if this is something I can do?  A place to put my thoughts, ideas, travel musts, inspos, “healthiness” tips to hopefully inspire people to live a “sunshine state of mind”  

Additionally, I’m a stay-at-home-mom {need I say more?}  Not that I am not grateful, I’m beyond lucky and appreciative of this opportunity and embracing this time in my life. Having the opportunity to be with my kids during a very precious time, while watching as they navigate this crazy world is beyond rewarding.  Believe it or not, it was never THE plan, it actually never even crossed my mind if you can imagine that? Being a SAHM just never even seemed like an option. A desire yes. But a feasible, actual option, ya right.  It just happened, and somehow, someway we managed to figure it out.  Over five years later, here I am… whaaa??? Each day has its struggles and stress points, but the goods most certainly outweigh the bad (most days 😉).

After moving across the country, away from all of our best friends and uber-close families we’ve really had to juggle and adjust to having to just “handle” everything on our own.  It’s been such a learning experience for the both of us, we have definitely realized how important teamwork is and how much we need to lean on each other (and thank goodness for occasional date nights to keep us sane). It doesn’t come without its challenges, but the challenges are what help us grow.  

We’ve been in Florida for over 2.5 years now and I’ve nearly spent 900 of those days with my kids in tow, but who’s counting? But! this year, drum roll please… BOTH kids are in school, hallelujah! (Did I say that out loud!?) Sorry, but seriously— it’s been good. Even if it’s only 3.5 hours a couple of times a week, it’s a much needed mama break.  Does that make me a crappy Mom? I think it makes me a better Mom. A little woosah moment, a hot coffee, maybe a solo run, an uninterrupted shower, heck, even cleaning the house solo brings me joy! It’s incredible what you can accomplish in 3.5 hours WITHOUT kids!?

So here it goes, the start of something new. With a little more time on my hands for the moment, I can dedicate an itty slice of time for myself; a creative collective space to put it all out there.  The good, the really-goods, and even some of the bads. Some insight, so hope, some fun and some of the you MUSTS! 

So stay tuned and follow along my journey!

{And please, let me know if there is anything in particular you’d like to hear about} 

Here’s to freedom, cheers to art. Here’s to having an excellent adventure and may the stopping never start.