trentasette

Thirty seven years. 

Here’s some thoughts on what I know now, that I didn’t always know.

Aging can be both, bitter and sweet. 

My body is changing. My skin, my hair they will never be what they once were. My memory? well, it can be hazy (or really hazy) depending on the day. Weight comes on much easier than I ever remembered and takes triple the time to take it off. The aches and ailments come more frequently than I ever thought possible (even this young?)

On the contrary, THIS body, with thicker thighs and tired eyes is the vessel that grew and fed my babies for consecutive years in my thirties. The freckles that sprinkle my face are those from the sunshiny days I spent at the beach with my bests. Its deeper wrinkles from a life lived outdoor. Its battered knees from the miles ran and mountains climbed. It’s so many incredible memories crammed in that my mind is simply making room for new ones.

Life can be hard and boy, it can be tiresome. It can feel unfair. It can actually BE unfair. It will blind side you when you least expect it.

But this life, it also has mountain tall “peaks” when I least expect it. It can sweep me off my feet and take my breath away. It can be adventures and “holy $&it, we’re moving to Italy” moments that I still pinch myself over. Its three beautiful babies and the best husband I could ever dream of.

It’s lost friends, who tossed me aside and grief I didn’t see coming. Its worry and heartaches for things much too big to solve in my sleep. It’s birthdays and “birthing-days” missed that I’ll never get a redo on. It’s too many goodbyes and too few hellos. 

But it is also new friendships that I never saw coming in my older age. It’s old friends who have stood by through all the miles and moves. It’s family who continues to visit and take time off of their lives to spend with mine. 

Life will be full of ups and downs in the most cliché of ways. It will have set backs and leaps forward. This life of mine is nothing short of magic and mystery — the hardships and hurdles life has thrown at me will always be lessons learned. What is important and what is not. It’s boundaries set and getting comfortable with letting go of what I cannot control.

DO NOT FORGET:

To say YES (to what matters)! Continue to lean in and learn, and relearn again. Laugh and cry. Choose joy. Find people who feel like sunshine, and be with them. Adventure as much as possible. Get lost on purpose. Move your body, everyday. Make time for friends and family, always. Worry less. Do not slow down.

This is thirty seven.